DUN-NA-NA-NA!! The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, I have defeated thee. Blast the everloving fuck out of Ganon, Navi... I mean, Zelda! (After I've done everything.)

Boom! The Triforce finally shows up! I was wondering where it was the whole time. I did see it a few times throughout the game on things, but I felt its absence a lot. Oh well, better late than never.

The main objective: Complete. Too bad the save doesn't reflect this. When you load it back up, there's ol' ballsack Ganon hanging around, waiting to get smacked (wait...). Oh well, at least it has a nice little star. I'm guessing this comes into play with the DLC?

Zelda: Isn't it beautiful? Also, THE BLOOD MOON RISES ONCE AGAIN!! Link: Too... bright...

So now that I beat it, I'll have to say this is one of the best open world games I've played. Very nice style, lots to do, and lots of ways to solve shit (six words: Parachute everywhere and bomb arrow everything). I FUCKING LOVE THE PUZZLES. Often times the Shrines renewed my faith in the game when I was getting bored. There's enough variety to keep you going. That said, is it the best open world game of all time? No, that'd be ignoring the Grand Theft Auto series and Minecraft's existence. Is it my favorite game of all time? No, and that's a hard one to pin down. Minecraft, Chrono Trigger, Kirby's Pinball Land, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, and We ♥︎ Katamari all compete for the top slots, with Chrono Trigger and Minecraft both fighting for number one currently, but I'd say this game might be a contender for number 4 or 5.

Another game I keep in my Top 10, Panzer Dragoon Saga for the Sega Saturn, kept coming to mind this whole game. The style, the music, and the phantom princess were all constant reminders of one of the best JRPGs of all time in my opinion. Another trait that BotW shares with PDS is the low number of people who've actually played it. While it has nowhere as small a player pool as PDS has (lol 20,000 copies released in North America. Try to find one under $500 today!), I don't know too many people who've played it compared to previous Zelda games a few months after the launch. Plus, there's another wrinkle to this game that might hurt Nintendo:

Awesome art by Ry-Spirit!

This is a borrowed system. Thank you so much to Alisha for letting me play! I really appreciate being able to play this awesome game. I'm not the only one who has borrowed this system either, so there's two sales of Switch that didn't happen. I'm sure the other borrower and me will eventually buy a Switch. After all, Pokémon and (I fucking hope) Animal Crossing will be coming to the system. But for now, with BotW being the only game worth playing on the Switch, there's no reason to really buy one. And most of the others I know that played BotW did so on a Wii U (finally, a game! j/k, or am I?)

Also, Nintendo? Please up the build quality and Joy-Con signal on the "improved" system. I was having heart attacks, this being a borrowed system, when the Joy-Con popped out a bit or lost connection. Ahhhhh...

So once again, thank you so much, Alisha, for letting me be able to play the best Zelda since The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap and possibly better than Ocarina of Time. I wouldn't have been able to without you. ^_^

Speaking of Minish Cap, I'm glad the ex-Capcom Zelda team is making the games now! I'm looking forward to more, y'all!

So let's get to some fun photos! I wish I could port them without using the stupid Nintendo portal thing, so I'll take photos with a camera (phone) like it's 1999!


I'm ready for love, ladies. (Trevor bent over in laughter over this getup.)

Speaking of ladies, it's sad that Link's Fish Girlfriend didn't make it. I feel like she and Link should be at least a bit miffed at Zelda's whiny ass for not being able to get it up for the final fight and ruining their wedding. Jesus, Zelda. Stop whining. Also, STOP TELLING ME THE BLOOD MOON IS RISING. I SEE IT. DAMMIT.

I mean, this fucking girl wants me to eat frogs. Sure, those frogs helped me climb a mountain, but my god, woman! At least stew it with some Moblin Guts! And try harder at being a bow sheath!

OK, you can thank me by learning that fun thing your sister used to do that only you Zora can. I'm not picky about the gender. ;D

But seriously, it's all about my GIANT WOMAN, A GIANT WOMAN, A GIANT WOMAN~

So yeah, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is an excellent game. I definitely recommend it. :D

But not enough to buy a Switch, yet. ;)